Enough

I used to worry so much about what people thought about me. Probably yet another reason I’ve had such bad anxiety through my life. Worrying about what girls and boys thought about me as a kid. Worrying about what men and women thought about me as a grown up. Always wondering if I was good enough for a friend, a partner, and just for life period. Always feeling like I wasn’t pretty enough…funny enough…dressed good enough…just ENOUGH. Walking around with those thoughts and doubts all my life caused me to be so afraid to really be me. To really thrive in life and really LIVE life and not just be in it. I could have been better. I could have been more. I had dreams of going to UCLA and being a great doctor. But I stuffed those dreams in the trash before I even hit high school because I had family who told me I’d never make it. I had all A’s in school up to this point. I was ahead in my studies and I could remember dates and facts like I was a human encyclopedia. But if my own family didn’t think I was good enough, then who the hell would? So, I became just what they expected from me and just what they thought I was good enough to be. Mediocre.

Now I feel like I missed out on so much all because I worried about what other people saw when they looked at me. But at 30 years old, I don’t give a fu*k. Literally. I don’t care who doesn’t think I’m pretty, funny, dressed good…. none of that. Everyone has opinions and those opinions don’t pay any bills this way. Those opinions also won’t make or break me. Something I wish I knew long ago. But it’s never too late to be great. No more mediocre. I have two daughters to raise and I tell them every day that they are great, and they will be greater. No mediocre this way. I tell them to follow their dreams no matter what anyone says or what doubts someone casts on them. Being enough isn’t even the goal anymore. We are all born being enough. It’s what you do after that that is key. So now I have my blog, something that I never would have done before, because I would have been too scared of what people who know me would say. Which is so damn dumb because now I have readers in over 10 countries and apparently, they like what they read. I still have a long way to go to reach the goal that I have set for myself, but I surely don't care what people think of me along the way.

So, the next time you don’t feel like you are enough, take a look in the mirror and remember “As much time as you spend trying to be like someone else, you could be perfecting YOU.” No mediocre….be GREAT!