Growth

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     I have really grown a lot in the last year…even more so in the last 6 months. I went through a period where I didn’t know who I was and mentally I was in pieces. I had to really pull myself together. It took time, prayer, and mostly importantly, action.

Saying and DOING are two different things….

I kept telling myself what I needed to do, what I wanted to do, but wasn’t DOING anything. Finally, I set a plan and then I proceeded to execute what I planned out. I started going to church again (I don’t go regularly, but I go 1-2 times a month). I’m not that big on “religion”, but I am very spiritual. I got back in school to finally finish my degree that I have started and stopped multiple times. I moved to a city where I wouldn’t have any distractions and could stay focused. I pray daily…actually numerous times a day. I set 3 alarms for the same time everyday to remind myself to stop, meditate, and pray on what’s currently on my mind. I also use it to pray about where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I want to be. It takes time getting use to stopping what I’m doing to do the prayers, but it has helped me so much. It gives me time to really evaluate my life each day. Two things I have learned are:

·        If you don’t acknowledge your blessings, they will disappear.

·        If you don’t remember where you’ve been and the mistakes you’ve made, you will repeat them and end up right back where you were.

Another thing that has changed for me since becoming more mentally healthy and more focused on my family and success, is noticing the lack of effort that others put forth. Now, I don’t think by a long shot that I’m better than anyone, but if I see the lackluster effort of the people around me and don’t try to push them to do better, I do believe I will end up not only being “okay” with their choices but following suit in just “being”.  And I’ve already been to that place. I have also come to realize that I am an empath (a person with the ability to understand and share the feelings of another) and when I see people who are headed to where I’ve been, I get so emotional and I just want to sit them down, pray over them, and tell them over and over “THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT”.

We all need to remember that….

We only have one life, and we need to live it to the best of our abilities and take care of ourselves physically and mentally. I have floated through life for so long, and I cannot and will not go back to that. I really can’t. I deserve better for myself and my children deserve better. So, the people around me need to want and strive for better as well.

I can’t give advice on how to be successful, not yet anyway. However, I can definitely give advice on where someone does not want to be because rock bottom is not just a term. It is real. I have seen it, felt it, and lived there. And by the grace of God, Allah, Buddha, or whatever you believe in, I made it out.

You may not agree with what I’m saying…but it’s just Simply My Insight.

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